nightmare of a past
as i lie on my bed, my thoughts about d past 2 months that he’s not around came again flashing in my mind n began to pull me back from yesterday, i felt my insides hurting terribly w/ guilt anger n regret.
i thought i met d guy hu would wipe those tears away, hug me tight n tell d world how happy he was for having me, but as always, it was completely d contrary of what sprangs in my mind. it was no longer d vague feeling dat would be felt in some distant day, i learned to live n accept d fact that as days passes by, he (may) no longer have d same feelings wen we first have that “sparkle” of luv between us. was he sincere? d answer came to me slowly, painfully through heavy black veils of grief. i almost believed that he was d man hu will pick up those broken pieces to make me whole again. it was so easy for him to leave and abandon me. he never told me d reasons why he left n until now it remained a question. he was my friend, ung “tropang tunay” n i wish i didn’t allow thaT friendship to develop into a personal rel’nship.
despite what happened i never have it as an excuse to let my life become miserable. i had this deal w/ God to sacrifice that feeling for a dream, a dream that’s surely be more important to my life n my future, and God was always right….
our memories keeps on haunting me, trying to always pull me back, this tym i fought back to finally let go n forget that piece of my past. the shock it brought would take a while to wear off but i’m now getting used to it n in tym it will go awa, hopefully….
as of now i’m looking forward w/ a good start… n w/ someone i feel my better half(^_^)
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